Avoidants and dating
If everyone walks away more angry, offended, or defensive, something is wrong. Anxious partners will send your deactivating strategies into overdrive. The avoidant personality almost has a very fragile ego, self-image, or understanding of how relationships are to operate.
They know their weaknesses and will handle constructive criticism well. Avoidants will need time away from others to recharge and do their own thing. Healthy human relationships are reciprocal and we understand what keeps relationships healthy and moving forward. In other words, individuals with social anxiety also isolate, seem shy, are unwilling to get involved unless sure of being liked, and has a preoccupation with being accepted.
Understanding your attachment style is the first step. The series of short relationships stem from their inherent need for intimacy but is ended equally quickly as the fearful-avoidant deems their partner more and more threatening when they get closer. Clinicians can help discover the underlying patterns and assess the situation.
If you lack awareness of your needs, then yes. Having worked with a variety of adolescents who demonstrate borderline personality traits, I have had my fair share of experience with avoidance and avoidant personalities. They have an innate need for independence. Every single one of these examples is meant to stop intimacy dead in its tracks.
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